pssst, let’s take it down a notch

13398398_874816499314833_783791968_n-480x600“The secret to a long and happy marriage is not the idea that nothing bad is ever going to happen. But it’s that when something bad happens, you know how to get through it together. One of the most important things is that when you’re having an argument, instead of ratcheting up the emotion, you diffuse it. In the middle of a fight, say, “I love you; you’re the most important person in the world to me,” even if at that moment, those words are the hardest ones to choke out because you’re so mad. It reminds you both of the big picture. It doesn’t make it instantly better, but it takes it down a notch. And in the cool-down period afterward, you’re not left questioning. You know everything is going to be ok. Half an hour after the fight, it’s over and you feel good.”

via {cup of jo}

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